Safety & domestic violence
How to teach children to seek help from identifiable safe adults and emergency services when threatened.
This guide offers practical steps parents can take to empower children to recognize danger, identify trusted adults, and contact emergency services quickly and calmly in threatening situations.
July 19, 2025 - 3 min Read
Teaching children to seek help begins with clear language and steady modeling. From a young age, children should hear simple, precise terms for safety, such as calling the police or a trusted neighbor when fear escalates. Role playing scenarios helps them practice loud, confident voice, eye contact, and specific actions like moving toward a lit doorway or a public space. Parents can introduce a short, memorable script that names who counts as a safe adult and what to say. Repetition builds security, so frequent, brief conversations reinforce understanding without scaring them. Over time, the child internalizes a practical safety routine they can recall under stress.
Identifying safe adults is crucial, and families should create a clear list. This list includes teachers, school counselors, police officers, firefighters, healthcare workers, and trusted family friends who respect boundaries. Children should memorize names, faces, and contact options for these individuals, plus the country’s emergency number. It helps to practice locating nearest safe adults in different environments—home, school, playground—so seeking help becomes second nature. Visual cues, like a badge or uniform, can reinforce recognition. Parents can accompany children to public places to point out where help sits, ensuring children understand where they can turn for assistance if they feel unsafe.
Practice language and pathways to safety with regular drills.
Consistent messages help children distinguish between everyday helpers and true emergency responders. Explain that safe adults are people who listen, stay calm, and take action to protect them. Practice scenarios where a child speaks clearly, states their need, and asks for help by saying, I need help from a safe adult. Discuss strategies for approaching someone, such as remaining in sight of a trusted adult while describing the threat, then requesting to be escorted to a secure space. Emphasize patience and practice, ensuring the child knows they can pause, breathe, and repeat information if necessary.
In addition to verbal skills, children benefit from practicing nonverbal cues that signal danger. Teach them to identify signs of a threatening situation, such as persistent following, aggressive language, or sudden coercion. Show how to use a loud, firm voice and maintain eye contact when explaining the problem. Encourage choosing public, well-lit locations during an escort to safety. After each drill, review what happened well and what could be improved, reinforcing a calm, action-oriented response rather than panic. Regular practice builds durable responses that endure stress.
Stories and community resources reinforce safe-help habits.
Drills should be age appropriate and frequent enough to stay current. Start with simple prompts and gradually add complexity, such as different environments or multiple safe adults. During each drill, assign a role for the child and a role for the adult listener, ensuring both parties know their responsibilities. Rehearse how to ask for help in a clear, loud voice, and how to describe the location and nature of the threat succinctly. Afterward, discuss what felt challenging and adjust language or steps accordingly. Keep drills short, positive, and linked to real-life routines like leaving a classroom or walking home.
Parents should also map practical routes to reach safety. Discuss escape options such as moving toward open areas, entering businesses with public staff, or using a neighbor’s home as a temporary refuge. Teach children to memorize critical information, including full names of safe adults and emergency numbers. Encourage children to carry a small, lightweight card with contact details, and to keep it visible in a backpack or wallet. Use family agreements to set expectations about seeking help whenever something feels off, even if a peer pressures them to ignore their feelings.
Integrating safety into daily life strengthens resilience.
Real-life stories help children understand why seeking help matters. Share age-appropriate narratives where a child successfully reaches a safe adult, receives support, and moves to a secure place. Discuss the emotions involved—fear, relief, gratitude—and how the safe adult responds with listening and action. Encourage children to ask questions about what they would do in similar moments. Pair stories with tangible takeaways, such as naming a specific safe adult and rehearsing the exact steps to contact emergency services. When children see practical outcomes, their confidence grows.
Community resources expand a child’s safety net beyond family. Schools, community centers, and workplaces often welcome young helpers and provide trained staff for emergencies. Teach children how to identify official symbols or uniforms that signal safety, and why those indicators matter. Practice recognizing trusted adults in a crowded setting, from a crossing guard to a librarian. Encourage families to participate in safety workshops or youth programs, which teach boundary-setting, consent, and safe communication. The more environments normalize seeking help, the more natural it becomes for children to act.
Evaluation and adaptation keep safety skills current.
Daily routines offer repeated opportunities to practice safety behaviors. For example, at the start of each journey, review where to go for help and who to contact. Involve children in planning routes, identifying safe spaces, and discussing potential risks in a calm, nonalarming way. Reinforce that seeking help is a strength, not a failure, and that adults will respond with care. Acknowledge their emotions after drills, providing reassurance while maintaining clear expectations about safety. Consistent messages across different settings reduce confusion when real danger appears.
Family communication should remain open, honest, and nonjudgmental. Invite children to share any sensations of unease and listen actively without dismissing their feelings. Validate their choices to seek help and avoid blaming them for fear. When a child reports a concern, respond with immediate action, such as coordinating with a trusted adult or contacting authorities if necessary. Keep a calm tone, describe the steps you will take, and demonstrate that protection is the priority. This trust foundation supports courageous decisions when danger arises.
Periodically review safety plans as children grow and environments change. As kids gain independence, update the list of safe adults and recalibrate emergency contact information. Rehearse new scenarios, including handling unfamiliar places or temporary guardians. Talk through what each step feels like and adjust to ensure the process remains empowering rather than intimidating. Observing how children apply knowledge in real situations informs further teaching. When gaps emerge, address them promptly with fresh practice and clear, achievable goals.
Finally, celebrate progress and reinforce ongoing learning. Highlight moments when a child successfully sought help, and discuss what helped them stay calm and effective. Recognize their bravery and remind them that safety requires ongoing effort from everyone. Provide age-appropriate resources for continued growth, such as child-focused safety guides, adult supervision, and community support networks. By embedding these practices in daily life, families build resilient children who can navigate threats with composure and confidence, always prioritizing help from identifiable safe adults and emergency services.
